Three Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

Dale Carnegie

The master of interpersonal-relations had this to say:

Technique 1: Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain

This principle means not only caring about yourself but also about others. People are not just animals, but there animals with feelings. All those wrongdoers blame ever body else but themselves. The person we're going to condemn and correct will probably justify him or herself, and condemn us in return. Be happy with what you have and don't complain case that would only make you selfish. The only reason why you would criticize someone is if they did something wrong. Don't hold grudges, it well only make the problem grow and grow until someone actually gets hurt.

Technique 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation

To bring out the best in people, show you appreciate them for being there for you and giving their time.  The difference between appreciation and flattery is simple, one is sincere the other insincere. Flattery is cheap praise. One of the most neglected virtues of our daily existence is appreciation. Stop thinking about ourselves for a while and begin to think of the other person’s good points, we don’t have to resort to flattery. Ounce they know you appreciate, they would look up to you and know you well always be there for them. To appreciate you value or admire the thing or person for coming into your life. Don’t ever criticize or else others will criticize you as well. I would apply this technique by not criticizing and loving each person that has come into my life. “   Beauty is when you can appreciate yourself. When you love yourself, that's when you're most beautiful.” (Zoe Kravitz)

Technique 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Become interested in the person you’re talking too and become astonished of the persons interest and background. If you can picture yourself in another person’s shoes, who can understand what the other person has gone through, then that person would cherish you forever.  We are interested in what we want. So the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it. Tomorrow you may want to persuade somebody to do something, before you speak, pause and ask yourself “How can I make this person want to do it”.  

These reflections helped me realize that people can change into being a better person. Don’t criticize others until you walked in their shoes. Always say thank you and appreciate others for taking some of their time to be with you. Ounce they know you appreciate, they would look up to you and know you are always there for them, and so are you. This thought me that everyone has feelings and one little word you say can turn into a disaster.